Would you consider going to a chemist shop (drug store) to buy a car? If you wanted some deodorant, would you look for it at a car dealership? Silly questions? Don't be surprised if, in, say, three years' time, these are not silly questions but very normal ones. When we want to exchange money in New Zealand, we go to a bank for that's where we get the best rate. However, because the banks in England are so greedy, they're the worst places to exchange your money. If we're going for a holiday to, say, Crete, we buy our euros at Marks & Spence, which is not a bank but best known as a supermarket and clothing store.
My wife, Anna, needed a new computer yesterday and, initially, we did the logical thing and went to Curries, England's largest retailer of computers. Their best deal was around £420. We went to Argos which is a general warehouse selling all manner of household goods and their best price was £399. Then we ended up on my computer, ordering hers over the internet from Tescos - originally a food supermarket - and got the same computer for £299 … plus a rebate … plus Clubcard points … plus free delivery!
So, if someone tells you they're getting their hair cut at McDonalds or are dining out at the local laundromat, it may not be their dementia kicking in but the new way of shopping … getting what you want from the most unlikely place imaginable ... a bit like my hero finding finance companies at the temple, 2,000 years ago!
Such an upside down world! Anyway, back to Arthur Bayly's world, which is rapidly turning upside down for him …
"Mmm, that's good," said Arthur with his hope supported a little.
"And that's not all!" said Amanda. "That afternoon I received a call from one of my co-workers, Brian, to see how I was. I hadn't spoken to any of them since I'd left - I felt too embarrassed to do so. Anyway, it turned out that Brian, made redundant like me, had also being going through similar stress as me, for about three months and had recently found a new job, moved to a new flat and had met this amazing new girlfriend. Life was on the up and up for him. And, of course, I wanted what he had."
"But he helped you somehow?" asked Arthur.
"Yes. He got bossy, told me he was coming around to take me out for a coffee and a chat," said Amanda, chuckling at the memory. "I was too embarrassed to be seen like I was but he insisted he'd be round in half an hour. A girl's vanity is a great motivator, you know! I was off the couch, in the shower, dressed in my least creased and dirty clothes, vaguely made up and at my front door minutes before he arrived. I sure as hell wasn't going to let him see the state of my flat!"
"And you went for a coffee?" asked Arthur, checking that he was still with the story.
"Well, the coffee was an excuse to get me out and talking," said Amanda. "And, once I started, he couldn't stop me! Anyway, he listened to my moans and groans until I exhausted myself - I think he reordered coffee some way through my diatribe."
"You eventually stopped - was he sympathetic?" asked Arthur, feeling sympathetic.
"Sympathetic? Hell no!" said Amanda. "I expected him to show some sympathy or compassion or caring but no! When I stopped raving, he said, 'so, what are you going to do about it now?'"
"Gosh, that was a little harsh," said Arthur.
"Yes, that's what I thought at the time. I just started crying," said Amanda, a tear of remembrance slipping down her cheek.
"You cried … in front of him?"
"You betcha I did. I couldn't stop it!" said Amanda. "His reaction was such a shock. So he just asked me again, so coolly, what did I want to do about it. I guess I got a little angry and shouted at him to 'shut up, I've just had enough, I just want all this over!'"
"That must have been particularly upsetting," said Arthur, feeling very sorry for her.
"Upsetting. Hell, he just started laughing," said Amanda, chuckling at the memory. "I was so shocked I stopped blubbing and just stared at him. He said he was so thrilled I'd got angry as that was the start of the uphill run."
"The uphill run?"
"Yes, the way he explained it was that depression and anger had the same cause," said Amanda, "and, apparently, they're both from unmet expectation. The difference is in the behaviour to that disappointment. In depression we go inside - inside of ourselves and cut off from the world. We can't function. Then, when we change our behaviour to anger, we go out, lash out in some way. When we get to that stage, we're ready to actually do something about our situation - we're ready to fight back. I must say, I did feel quite empowered when I had my angry outburst. The best I'd felt in six months!"
"Ah, I hadn't thought of it that way," said Arthur, quietly. "I suppose I thought anger was particularly antisocial."
"Well, yes, it is if its misdirected against people and things," said Amanda, brightening up. "However, it's just energy and, used constructively, can be positively powerful. After all, Greenpeace, Amnesty International and CORSO were all started by anger - by a sense of injustice - directed constructively."
"I suppose you're right," said Arthur, trying to take in all these new ideas. "So how did he help you?"
"Several ways, really," said Amanda. "He gave me an exercise but, before that, tried to explain something to me that I didn't get at the time. You might not get it - might not want to get it - right now, but I'd like to try and explain it to you …"
"Yes?" said Arthur, on the edge of his seat, quite oblivious to the people in the café and passing by on the street.
"OK, well, here goes," said Amanda. "Let's use the word universe instead of God or whatever. It's just a word for something I don't quite know how to explain."
"Yes?"
"So, let's pretend you have a particular life path to walk," said Amanda. "I know this sounds a bit spooky, but it feels right to me. Do you understand?"
"No, not really," said Arthur as a warm feeling rose up his spine. Though the idea was new and a little peculiar, it had a feeling of rightness about it.
"OK, as I said, let's pretend that you have a particular life path. Certain things you need to do in this life," said Amanda, obviously choosing her words carefully. "Now, we don't necessarily know what that path is or even that it exists. You with me?"
"I'm not sure. I might be if you keep going."
"So we have certain things to do or achieve and, somehow, someone, something keeps us on the path," said Amanda. "Some people are able to feel that guidance, so to speak, and they stick to the path. Most of us, however, don't feel these things and, though the universe speaks to us in a multitude of ways we don't hear or feel, we plough on blindly ignorant."
"Mmm."
"So, if we're here for a particular purpose but don't know what it is, don't even know that it exists, how the heck are we supposed to carry out our sacred mission?" asked Amanda. "How do we get connected, how do we plug into the universe to get the right job done?"
"Mmm, a conundrum."
"Absolutely! It's such an illogical system, we might think - being given a job we don't know about and don't have any tools for," said Amanda. "We're all floundering in the dark."
"Sounds very confusing ..."
"It sounds like that but it's not," said Amanda, smiling. "It's actually very logical and very simple, really."
"Oh, is it?" said Arthur, surprised.
"Yep, it sure is," she said, chirpily. "We get out of our own way and we let the universe talk."
"Pardon?" said Arthur, returning to the edge of confusion's abyss.
"Exactly!" said Amanda, laughing. "You see, we all get so busy doing what we think we ought to be doing - with our oughtism - listening to the ideas and commands of others, the constant desire to look good, that we forget to feel good. Obeying the clamour of the world that clashes with our own spiritual calling, we live lives of desperate futility, bitter and frustrated."
"You mean that others feel like that … like me?" asked Arthur, with clouds of doubt dispersing again, albeit slowly, while he felt a strange sense of connection with this stranger who described his life so accurately.
"Very few people live life happily, peacefully and in accord with their true calling," said Amanda, her enthusiasm never waning. "And yet we all hold the key but choose not to unlock the door of our self-constructed prison. Silly, really!"
"So how do we get out of this prison, then?" asked Arthur, sensing light beginning to dawn on his life.
"You've started the process already, though you don't know it, just like I didn't till Brian turned up," she said. "Now that you've said Enough! and I've turned up. Stay open and the rest will unfold itself."
"Unfold?"
"Things will start to happen," she said, "unusual, unexpected things ..."
"Like unusual redundancies, unexpected criminals?" asked Arthur, smiling grimly.
"All things will pass,"
"Somebody else told me that today!"
"You see - unusual and unexpected!" said Amanda. "Seemingly unrelated things will start to fit together. All I can say is stay open and remember that all this will definitely pass - nothing actually matters. Now, can I get your details for my report, please?"
Arthur dutifully gave her the details she needed, while anxious to know more.
"Now, I really must go," said Amanda, looking at her watch, "but here's my mobile number if you want to know where to deliver the Maserati to." She scribbled her number on a serviette and handed it to him.
"The Maserati?" asked Arthur, trying to catch up with her.
"My consulting fee! Just joking, ninny," said Amanda, patting his shoulder. "If you want to know more or just want a chat, call and invite me round. Bye!"
'My gosh, invite me round,' thought Arthur as Amanda skipped out of the café, 'these Kiwis are very forward.' That thought didn't last long as there were other, more pressing matters to consider and they wouldn't all fit into his brain - it was quite full for now, thank you very much!
He knew he would normally feel quite self-conscious, sitting in a café with an empty cup, no paper to pretend to read and nothing to do. Today he didn't. Despite all he had to think about, his mind went blank, quite empty, and he sat staring happily out the window at everything and nothing.
Blissfully unaware of the time, his mind slowly woke as a cat stretching after a nap. He looked around and was surprised the world hadn't changed during his absence. He picked himself up and wafted out the door with an inane smile on his face.
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